Early in the piece you mentioned who was in charge of which bills and that hit me as a particularly red flag. To be married means many things, but I would think that a financial marriage is a big key. All bills that affect you both, I believe, should be paid for out of the communal pot. And then you can always have an entertainment budget or whatever for going out to eat, etc.

It doesn't really sound like a marriage in terms of combining all aspects of your life to face life together. I would agree with those saying it is past time to look for a way out.